Step out in Confidence
and the Net Will Appear

How to find motivation and Exude More Confidence
by Yvonne F. Brown

Confidence: The word conjures up images of self-assurance, self-esteem and belief in ones' self. Self-confidence is inward security. It means that your security comes from within, you're confident in your integrity to your own value system. It is not congruent with doubt or fear.

Franklin D. Roosevelt hit the nail on the head when he said, "Confidence thrives only on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection and on unselfish performance. Without them, it cannot live."

Confidence is not found outside of one's self, it is not an inherent personality trait when you are born, but rather something that is be learned, honed, and integrated into your daily behavior. You build or lose self-confidence by choice. It can be destroyed by a parent, teacher, sibling or colleague through a thoughtless offhand remark that is taken to heart and integrated into the psyche of the receiver. Often the event quickly passes with neither the giver nor the receiver aware of what has happened. This occurs whether the remark is used to build you up or break you down.

The fear of failure is the greatest obstacle to success in adult life. Taken to its extreme, you become pre-occupied with not making a mistake, and seeking security above all other considerations. You fear of failure manifests itself in the words of "I can't", "I can't." You feel it in the front of your body, starting at the solar plexus and moving up to the rapid beating of your heart, rapid breathing, tight throat and dry mouth. You might also experience this fear in the bladder and in an irresistible need to run to the bathroom.

The fear of rejection holds you back, interferes with your performance, and inhibits self-expression. You learn this when your parents make their love conditional upon your behavior. If you do what pleases them, they give you love and approval. If you do something they don't like, they withdraw their love and approval-which you interpret as rejection. Your confidence decreases with each interaction and ultimately your self-esteem is lowered.

Luckily, if you have low self-esteem, no self-esteem, or lack confidence, you can build your confidence when motivated to do so. Yes, it is that simple. You see, since confidence flows from the inside out, you can begin by acting as if you are self-confident. Begin with something small, pretend that you are confident, and just do the thing you lack confidence in.

You are not alone. More than 99% of adults experience both the fear of failure and rejection. Like you, they are trapped in the feeling of, "I can't," but "I have to," "I have to," but "I can't."

The antidote to these fears is to develop courage, character and self-esteem. The opposite of fear is actually love, self-love and self-respect which increases your confidence. Acting with courage in a fearful situation is a technique that boosts your regard for yourself to such a degree that your fears subside and lose their ability to effect your behavior and your decisions.

For instance, though terrified at the prospect of my first professional speaking engagement, I researched my subject, prepared my speech, practiced and (yep, I was still scared stiff). However, because I knew the material, I only needed to overcome the fear of getting up in front of the audience. After I was introduced I stepped up to the podium and acted as if I were a great speaker. When I completed the presentation, several attendees approached me and said "wow you're such a confident speaker." In that moment, I realized that the audience can't tell that I have butterflies in my stomach while at the podium. I continue to use the "act as if" strategy whenever I need to feel confident and over time, I find my confidence is increased.

You too can increase your self-esteem and self-confidence and overcome your fears by realizing and accepting that you can do anything you put your mind to. Repeat the words, "I can do it! I can do it!" whenever you feel afraid.  And continually think of yourself as a valuable and important person. Temporary failure is how you learn to succeed.

Remember what Joe Palermo said, "If you're knocked down, you can't lose your guts. You need to act with supreme confidence or else you'll lose again, and then losing becomes a habit." It doesn't matter what your circumstances are, what's important is that you are in control of your response and reaction to each situation you face.

In my book, "Self-Creation: 10 Powerful Principles for Changing Your Life," I recommend using the 4-step coping mechanism to build confidence. Whatever you are facing, begin by contemplating and analyzing the situation. Next, incubate it, step back and reflect, but don't make a decision yet. Then actuate, consider ways to restructure the situation and look for the opportunity in the situation. Finally, integrate; incorporate the new behavior in your daily actions and I guarantee your confidence will grow.

Marie Curie said, "Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this something, at whatever cost, must be attained."

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face."

So, believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! With a humble but reasonable confidence in your own power, you will be successful and happy.

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Believe it—Achieve it!
by Mark Victor Hansen

Great Achievers Believe They Are Great

Muhammad Ali was one of the finest boxers in history. But before he received his acclaim, before his name and face became known around the world, he was just another struggling fighter trying to break into the big time. Perhaps you can remember the day, as I do, when we read the headline on the sports page. There were only three words: "I'm the greatest!"

They were said to the press by a young man named Cassius Clay before his first great match with Sonny Liston. Yes, he'd been great at the Olympics, but he seemed pretentious. At first, the press scoffed at him. But when he won, they took notice. Not only had he won, but he had predicted it. Cassius Clay—who later changed his name to Muhammad Ali—subsequently went on a world tour constantly reiterating his motto, "I'm the greatest!" He also began predicting the round in which he would knock out his opponent. In all but one or two cases, he was right! He affirmed, I dance like a butterfly and I sting like a bee…I'll knock you out in round three.

How could he do that? Had Muhammad Ali tied into some mysterious force that gave him the power to see into the future? Was there something he understood that we didn't? The answer is yes!

That mysterious force Ali tapped into is called affirmation. Affirmations are the words you say to yourself or that others say to you that you believe, think about, act on, and that come about.

Understanding Affirmation

Notice that when Ali spoke, he never said, I'm great or I'm almost the greatest or even Next year I'll be the greatest. When he said, simply and clearly, I'm the greatest! he was accomplishing three things simultaneously:

First, he was letting his own subconscious know what it had to work with. For the subconscious there is only the present—the eternal present—so he was defining himself right then and there. In effect, he was telling his subconscious what it was supposed to believe in the here and now.

Second, by speaking his affirmation out loud and in front of others, he was putting his subconscious on notice that there was no backing down. He had declared it. Now he had to live up to it.

Third, once he had lived up to what he had said by becoming world champion, he got others to believe it, as well. Thus, when he said he would knock out another fighter in the third round, he made sure that other fighter heard the declaration. It was psychological warfare at its best. When the third round came, the other fighter was waiting to be knocked out. Such was Ali's strength of affirmation that even his opponents believed it was going to happen. Consequently it did.

While Ali's boxing skills were indeed significant, even greater were his psychological skills. As with Muhammad Ali, all your triumphs must first be won in the mind before they're ever attempted in the ring.

Credit for article is as follows: This article is by Mark Victor Hansen. For more information about Mark Victor Hansen or his CDs, books and/or videos visit www.YourSuccessStore.com or call 877-929-0439.

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This Month's Event:

Conference—Employee ROI conference and Boardroom Bound Conference in New York

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Book of the Month:
Nice Girls don't Get the Corner Office
by Lois P. Frankel PhD

After listening to Dr. Lois Frankel speak at a recent event where she was a panelist I found her comments so enlightening that I interviewed her about what it takes to get to the corner office. While the title of the book is initially off-putting, I found the content to be right on the mark. Stay tuned for our upcoming JADcast interview of Dr. Frankel.

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Note I received from the Universe today:

What if, Yvonne, the coolest person on the planet didn't know they were the coolest person on the planet? Just because of a few self doubts, a few trace fears, or the occasional twang of inadequacy. Or because they somehow thought fame, or wealth, or popularity mattered? Or because they just didn't know the affect they had on others.

It would be a pity, huh? An absolute travesty. And of course, telling them wouldn't achieve much because they'd never believe you. Never. They'd be too modest to accept it. Too naïve to believe it. And to cool to think it mattered.

Please, Yvonne, think as highly of yourself as you possibly can. Because no matter how high that is you will still undershoot the truth… it's just a time-space thing. So… well… ah… let's just leave it at that
—The Universe

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Empowering Your Destiny

This month's Empowering Question

"What is great about right now? What am I thankful for right now?"

This month's Empowering Affirmation

"I'm grateful for all that I have. I have so much to be thankful for in my life. I can feel great any time I want simply by remembering my blessings. I quickly let go of negative thoughts when they threaten to overtake me. My mind is a powerful tool that I have at my disposal any time I want. I dissolve and release all jealousy from my heart. I'm preparing myself for tomorrow.

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JAD Gear

Get your exclusive JAD Gear. This is just a sample of the variety of items we have to choose from. Visit our store to view more.

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