The Jamaican American Dreamer April 2003 Newsletter

Words That Sting

By Tim Connor

Over the years, I have been the recipient of words by others that cut deep and scarred my self-esteem. As a result, I learned to withdraw rather than continue to expose my fragile self to those words that were said:

Out of spite

To inflict pain

To get even

To manipulate or control

Out of ignorance

Out of arrogance

Each of us have or have had people in our life – friends, strangers, family members, and fellow employees – who, for whatever reason, have sent biting, hurtful words our way. Often, these people are not even aware of the pain they cause us, unless we tell them.

What are some examples of words that sting? It depends. Some simple, ordinary and positive words used in a negative context or with a negative tone or with a condescending and patronizing attitude can be just as damaging. Here are a few examples of some common words that can sting.

You never.

You should.

You always.

If you cared/loved me you would….

I can’t believe you said that.

Anything that invalidates the other person.

Anything that is meant to manipulate the other person.

Anything that is meant to inflict pain on the other person

Add your own...

Life is perceptual. Each of us reacts uniquely to the words used by others. One person’s words sent with a vindictive spirit can bounce off one person, but damage another for life.

What can we do if we have to deal with people on a regular basis who have the habit of sending these ‘words that sting?’ A few thoughts:

1.     Fight back with stinging words of your own. Not a recipe for effective relationships.

2.     Defend yourself.

3.     Make the other person aware of how his/her words affect you.

4.     Ignore them. Often difficult, folks.

5.     Show them how their negative communication impacts the relationship.

Has anyone ever made you feel the sting of through their words. Send us an example of how you responded or solved the problem. SEnd to Info@jadcommunications.com Reprinted with permission from Tim Connor

If you like what you read here, please share it with your friends, family and loved ones and encourage them to subscribe to our newsletter.

BEGINNING IN 2004 - Join us for a discussion of Choice, Decision and Destiny on PEPTalk. What's holding you back anyway? Come on, turn off the television, turn off the radio, pull up a chair and let's talk. (We have pushed this forward to 2004 so that the software can be installed and the site set up for you. We are seeking volunteers to help moderate the discussion group. Send an email to to us at info@jadcommunications.com if you are willing and able to help.)

Help us to keep the story going - Join our news group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SelfCreators It's FREE!

TeleSeminars in 2004

Second Tuesday of every month

7:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. CST

The need to push the limits of excellence has taken on a truly personal dimension in that it reflects a commitment to success.

These TeleSeminars can help you to achieve your goals and resolutions for 2004!

Seminar topics for 2004 include:

January: How to use the Law of attraction to get what you want
February: How to write your book fast!
March: How to self-publish your book using ePOD to get it to the marketplace quickly
April: How to start a money making business online and make money while you sleep
May: Discussions on what you aspire to do, be or have and how to get it NOW!
June: How to write a book proposal
July: How to run a SoHo (tricks of the trade)
August: How to look like a BIG company on a shoe string budget
September: How to have a website for $100.00 or less
October: How to write and publish a book in 3 months or less.

To learn more send email to: Yvonne@JADcommunications.com

Recommended program this month - Take advantage of the opportunity to get 50% off - buy one get one free.

Remember to download your FREE ebook "He Does Believe It!" featuring Vic Johnson a true believer.

Where's Yvonne? - For more information on the Jamaican American Dreamer™, send an email to JAD@JADcommunications.com

AUTHOR INFORMATION. Yvonne Frances Brown, The Jamaican American Dreamer™, is an internationally recognized speaker, author and personal motivation, inspiration, and human potential empowerment coach . Yvonne helps people to attain personal greatness by taking control of their own destiny and choosing a future they design. Primary services include coaching, public speaking, keynotes, workshops, and seminars for corporations and associations

JAD Communications International publishes and distributes encouragement aimed specifically at aspiring people of all ages. Coaching and enlightened discussion is the cornerstone of the endeavor, whereby JAD enables the ever-changing and enlightened mind of people of diversity, without regard to age, race, or background. To learn more about JAD Communications International and how it can help to coach and motivate your employees, your association, or your company, send an email to The Jamaican American Dreamer

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