Special Taining Programs and other musings
by Yvonne F. Brown

To be truly free and to grow in self-esteem, choose not to give up your growth, pursuit of fulfillment or happiness to anyone. Choose to treat yourself with dignity and proceed to move toward full love, wisdom, freedom and joy, knowing that you are the authority over you. ~ Lilburn Barksdale

It's a natural feeling to want to better oneself, and so it was with hopeful expectation that I took the advice of my colleagues and registered to attend a three-day training program that promised to change my life for the better, and help me develop my ability to reach my potential as a human being. The class was to be delivered over a three-day weekend starting on Friday morning at 8:00 am and would run clear through Sunday evening at 10:30 p.m. That in itself seemed odd to me since the usual training class ran for about 8 hours at the most in any one day; but I had decided to attend and having already registered and paid in full, I was committed.

Brutal program hours
I feel compelled at this time to impress upon you, dear reader, the hours of this training program. Friday's hours were from 8:00 a.m. to 1:00 a.m. [that's right, 17 hours]; Saturday's hours were from 9:00 a.m. to 1:00 a.m. and Sunday would run from 9:00 a.m. to nearly midnight. But that's not all; an additional follow-up class was scheduled for Monday evening from 7:00 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. I was intrigued about this training [to say the least] because several colleagues that I admired had previously gone through this program and gave it very high marks. They all assured me that I would get a lot out of the program, just as they had, and that "you'll be glad you took it, and a changed person at the end of the weekend." This further intrigued me and I found myself looking forward to Friday's class.

The first thing that happened when I arrived is, they ordered me to get rid of my coffee because it was not allowed in the training room. "No food is allowed in the room, you can finish it out here, but if you do, you will miss important aspects of the program you have signed up for."

"OK, I'll finish the coffee then, I'll go in", I thought, but my curiosity got the better of me and I reluctantly tossed a perfectly good [and very expensive] cup of coffee into the trash and entered the room.

Orientation
The room was a large rectanglar one and there were about 150 metal chairs in the middle of the floor. All of the binds were drawn shut thus removing outside stimulation. At the front of the room was a rectangular stage with a microphone in a stand at each end, and a box of Kleenex on the floor at the base of each microphone stand. There was also a microphone stand at the back of the group of attendees. A box of Kleenex was also placed at the base of that microphone stand.

A well-dressed man sat onstage in a comfortable chair [with arms and cushioning, I may add], there was a vase of beautiful red roses behind him, and he was drinking coffee which was replenished by an aide at various times during the day. Obviously, the rule of no drinks in the room did not apply to the instructor, only to the attendees.

Directly across from the stage at the back of the room were about 10 to 12 chairs, three stools [cushioned and comfortable] with an aide seated on each of them. Some paperwork advertising other classes in the regional area was spread out on tables close by. Every one of the 150 or so chairs in the middle was occupied and the opening questions from the group were already underway.

Naturally, my first question was, "will this class really run until past midnight? And why does it take so long?" "Good question", the instructor replied, "that's because that's how long it takes." "Great! Got it! OK then, let's go" I thought.

The Program
What proceeded over the course of the next three days was very disturbing, if not somewhat enlightening. Though encouraged to bring snacks because of the long class hours, we were not allowed to eat them in the room. Water was the only thing that could be consumed by the attendees in the room. Our first break was not until well after lunch and it was only for 15 minutes, therefore, we just hung around outside of the building, stunned by the jumble of words we had been exposed to. We were told things like, "you don't know what you don't know, until you know that you don't know that you don't know what you don't know."

Soon enough I learned what the microphones and Kleenex were for, as the audience members were encouraged to come to the microphone and "share" when they had made a breakthrough, and nearly every one of them who got up to "share" wound up crying their eyes out. It was quite poignant, and I soon started to get a bad feeling from the whole event when I realized the aides at the back of the room seemed to be feeding off the sorrow and distress of the people who were 'sharing' their grief. During moments of the greatest distress, more and more of these aides came in and sat at the back of the room caught up in and encouraging the outpouring of tears from the attendees. But, I had made a commitment to take this training and so I decided to see it through.

The crying and the sharing continued for the entire three days. Both men and women were crying now, and so it went on until 1:00 a.m. on Friday, at which time we were given assignments and told to "do the homework tonight before you go to bed! and we will go over it in the morning." Exhausted I returned home, did my homework and immediately fell into a deep sleep.

All too soon, morning arrived and I returned to the meeting hall exhausted but still curious. We repeated the process of the first day, with additional encouragement to "come to the microphone and 'share' if you have not already done so." Some returned for a second and third time and cried time after time while others, like me, reflectively took in the experience trying to make sense of it all.

How The Program Ended
Needless to say, I survived the "training program" but at the end of the three days decided that this method was not for me. You see, it actually reminded me of the cults from the late sixties, early seventies. Individuals are removed from their environment and all external stimuli taken away for extended periods of time. Someone on a stage bombards you with statements of how you are a failure, why you are a failure, and promises that he will make you see your life as it really is for the first time, and then help you change yourself to be a better human being. The premise was that they would dismantle you life during the three days, and then put it back together rearranged their way, and that would make you an "extraordinary human being."

My Observations
Now, I'm not saying that this program does not work for some, but, to those whose life really changed after this class, I say "pat yourselves on the back because YOU made that positive change in your life, not the training program."

I mean really, who doesn't want to be a better human being and to reach self-actualization? Who among us doesn't want to reach their full potential and be a success in life? I can't think of a soul who doesn't, and that's exactly why we approach these classes with such high expectations. That's exactly why we seek out opportunities to learn and grow and better ourselves. However, in our quest to better ourselves and to find meaning in our lives we must be ever vigilant and take care not to be taken advantage of. We must use critical reasoning and listening skills to really understand what is being presented to us. It is incumbent upon our very lives to pay close attention to what we allow to enter our minds and hearts.

One of the most blatantly missing items from this special training program, for me anyway, was that they never once gave us any positive ideas or reinforcement. At one point a woman stepped up to the microphone and voiced this very concern. As I watched them break her down and bombard her into submission to their way of thinking and to give up her own expectations and her own beliefs, I felt myself being very present to the possibility that this was not what I had come to the training program to learn, nor the reason why I had come.

Conclusion
Indeed, despite all this, I did learn something from those three days of training. I learned that "if it's to be, then it's up to me." So I will train my students to seek greatness within themselves because that's where they will find it. And I will also teach them that when they do find that greatness, they should mark well the event and recognize the experience as a rewarding and enriching moment in their lives.

We are all heroic beings and the credit belongs with ourselves when we come face to face with our ability to reach greatness. Learn this, and you will indeed be an extraordinary human being.