By Bianca Lundien Kennedy

      Mere hours before facing a bilateral mastectomies surgery, while battling breast cancer in late 2001, on the heels of a rigorous six-month course of chemotherapy, with my family at my side, my childhood best friend, Kelly, or “Tigger,” as she remains affectionately called, was right there for me, alongside my parents,  sister and husband.  In her inimitable way, she lifted me up during this difficult time, so much so, that I hardly felt a drop of anxiousness while we visited in my hospital room, prior to my rapidly approaching surgery. How did she manage to so elevate my spirits? Aside from just being her ever-fabulous self, she brought a big “boom box” into my hospital room, quite a funny sight! Yet, it was the sounds from the boom box that buoyed me. It was equipped with assorted favorite tunes from the Jackson Five and from Michael Jackson!

     We gleefully reminisced about how we had spent much of our adolescence together firmly enamored – okay, infatuated - with a young and vibrant Michael Jackson.  We had his posters on our walls and had each declared that we wanted to marry him, at the tender age of 15. Our years in junior high school and high school were filled with our listening to his incomparable music in daily – often hourly - doses. We even went to his concert together in 1981, during the Off the Wall (still my favorite album) tour, with his talented brothers backing him up. The tour was the first to feature Michael’s solo music as an adult artist. The show was billed as “The Jacksons, starring Michael Jackson.”  We both still have our sentimentally cloaked ticket stubs from the show. That once-in-a-lifetime concert was an authentic thrill, inviting us to witness the unveiling of a legend in the making. As we stood laudably cheering at the top of our lungs, letting the resonating dance beats keep us unrestrained on our feet, Michael’s performance was as goosebump-delivered as it gets!

     A year or so before that unforgettable event, it was Tigger, at age 16, who faced an emergency surgery, an appendectomy. When I visited her in the hospital, circa 1980, I brought her a pre-CD-era cassette recorder, with our favorite Michael Jackson tunes on it – a “mixed tape” – made with the purity of friendship.  Panning forward to just over twenty years later, in 2001, both of us then in our mid-thirties, while I waited for the nurses to come and get me to take me to surgery, that morning transcended the experience of the surgery itself, as my nerves gave way to an unexpected joy, causing any anxiety to dissipate, while we passed the time listening to Michael’s music with my family.

     When the nurses finally entered my hospital room, pushing the stretcher ready to take me to the operating room, they heard us reveling in the Michael Jackson music of our youth, and suggested that I ask my surgeon to play the tape in the OR. I was surprised to hear this – happily surprised. So, I did just that! I asked my doctor to do so and he happily obliged, putting on those thoughtfully assembled tunes right there in the OR. I was listening to Michael Jackson, more content and at ease than I could ever have anticipated, as I climbed from the stretcher to the operating table. Believe me, there is nothing quite like the surreal experience of listening to “Don’t Stop til You Get Enough” (oddly appropriate for a bilateral mastectomies surgery!), while drifting under the anesthesia’s influence.  I felt like I was at a party, rather than a life-altering surgery.

     Tigger was and is the best! Michael was and is the best!  Tigger and I touched base last night, after the news of his untimely death came over the ongoing broadcasts. We took comfort in each other’s joyful memories, long associated with that early chapter in our lives, dominated by our love of Michael Jackson and his phenomenal music. As we mourned the loss of this huge talent, we also mourned the loss of a piece of our childhood. We chose to disregard any thoughts of Michael that did not align with our magical memories of the legend, who, in death, will no doubt realize his biggest dream - to be ranked with the ultimate handful of iconic entertainment legends, like Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe and John Lennon. I trust that Michael must somehow now be viewing our earthly world from heaven, witnessing the ushering in of infinite affection and the outpouring of love for him from around the globe, from across generations and from diverse ethnicities. Michael Jackson will be dearly regarded and dearly missed.

I love my work.  I love teaching others, watching as they connect the dots and surmize how smart they already are about the topic.  So it was a revelation for me at a recent seminar when, while teaching how to tell the truth without fear, I learned that for some employees this is simply not possible.

Telling the truth without fear

I am always interested in the attendees response to the question "can you tell the truth without fear at work?"  Sometimes the response is unanimous that 'of course' I can tell the truth.  More often than not, I get no response but instead receive a look of incredulity, and a smirk of "you're kidding, right?"  Some time ago an attendee said that their CIO always wants the truth and so provided the department with a catch phrase that allows them to do just that.  It's "intellectual honesty" as in, "Bob, in all intellectual honesty..."  This phrase, I was informed, prepared the CIO for bad news while providing employees with a means of presenting even the most unpleasant news.

I like it.  Everyone's on the same page.  it even provides employees with a way of disagreeing with each other.  This is a crucial communication that Patrick Lencioni calls "engaging in good conflict" in his book  "The Five Disfunctions of a Team."  It is evident that being in a position where it is difficult to tell the truth without fear creates many problems.  This leads me to the second question in today's blog post.

What are you communicating to your employees?

A second question that I pose to attendees is "you are a project manager and your boss adds a new project to your plate.  You have neither the resources nor the time available to execute it successfully.  Do you discuss the issues with your manager and explain your reasoning?"

Imagine my surprise when I was told: "We can't do that."  We woud have to be quiet and take on the project.  "Even if you knew it would fail?" As I asked, I feared the response.  "Yes, even if we knew it would fail, we would have to take on the project anyway.  In today's market, if we don't do it, it is easy for them to fire us, find someone who needs a job and is willing to take it on, despite the fact that it would fail.  So, we would just do it, let it fail and continue from there."

WOW!  Is it any wonder then, that the economy is in its current state.  What this says is, given the worst circumstances, an employee will take a project they know will fail, their manager knows will fail, and the company knows will fail, because that's the company's culture.  It makes me wonder how many of today's organizations have this culture of lies vs. truth, and communication that encourages failure then rewards it. 

Do you work in a company that allows you to tell the truth without fear or do those who take on failed projects end up being promoted?  Send me your comments via the comment page at http://www.yvonnefbrown.com/contact