By Bianca Lundien Kennedy

      Mere hours before facing a bilateral mastectomies surgery, while battling breast cancer in late 2001, on the heels of a rigorous six-month course of chemotherapy, with my family at my side, my childhood best friend, Kelly, or “Tigger,” as she remains affectionately called, was right there for me, alongside my parents,  sister and husband.  In her inimitable way, she lifted me up during this difficult time, so much so, that I hardly felt a drop of anxiousness while we visited in my hospital room, prior to my rapidly approaching surgery. How did she manage to so elevate my spirits? Aside from just being her ever-fabulous self, she brought a big “boom box” into my hospital room, quite a funny sight! Yet, it was the sounds from the boom box that buoyed me. It was equipped with assorted favorite tunes from the Jackson Five and from Michael Jackson!

     We gleefully reminisced about how we had spent much of our adolescence together firmly enamored – okay, infatuated - with a young and vibrant Michael Jackson.  We had his posters on our walls and had each declared that we wanted to marry him, at the tender age of 15. Our years in junior high school and high school were filled with our listening to his incomparable music in daily – often hourly - doses. We even went to his concert together in 1981, during the Off the Wall (still my favorite album) tour, with his talented brothers backing him up. The tour was the first to feature Michael’s solo music as an adult artist. The show was billed as “The Jacksons, starring Michael Jackson.”  We both still have our sentimentally cloaked ticket stubs from the show. That once-in-a-lifetime concert was an authentic thrill, inviting us to witness the unveiling of a legend in the making. As we stood laudably cheering at the top of our lungs, letting the resonating dance beats keep us unrestrained on our feet, Michael’s performance was as goosebump-delivered as it gets!

     A year or so before that unforgettable event, it was Tigger, at age 16, who faced an emergency surgery, an appendectomy. When I visited her in the hospital, circa 1980, I brought her a pre-CD-era cassette recorder, with our favorite Michael Jackson tunes on it – a “mixed tape” – made with the purity of friendship.  Panning forward to just over twenty years later, in 2001, both of us then in our mid-thirties, while I waited for the nurses to come and get me to take me to surgery, that morning transcended the experience of the surgery itself, as my nerves gave way to an unexpected joy, causing any anxiety to dissipate, while we passed the time listening to Michael’s music with my family.

     When the nurses finally entered my hospital room, pushing the stretcher ready to take me to the operating room, they heard us reveling in the Michael Jackson music of our youth, and suggested that I ask my surgeon to play the tape in the OR. I was surprised to hear this – happily surprised. So, I did just that! I asked my doctor to do so and he happily obliged, putting on those thoughtfully assembled tunes right there in the OR. I was listening to Michael Jackson, more content and at ease than I could ever have anticipated, as I climbed from the stretcher to the operating table. Believe me, there is nothing quite like the surreal experience of listening to “Don’t Stop til You Get Enough” (oddly appropriate for a bilateral mastectomies surgery!), while drifting under the anesthesia’s influence.  I felt like I was at a party, rather than a life-altering surgery.

     Tigger was and is the best! Michael was and is the best!  Tigger and I touched base last night, after the news of his untimely death came over the ongoing broadcasts. We took comfort in each other’s joyful memories, long associated with that early chapter in our lives, dominated by our love of Michael Jackson and his phenomenal music. As we mourned the loss of this huge talent, we also mourned the loss of a piece of our childhood. We chose to disregard any thoughts of Michael that did not align with our magical memories of the legend, who, in death, will no doubt realize his biggest dream - to be ranked with the ultimate handful of iconic entertainment legends, like Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe and John Lennon. I trust that Michael must somehow now be viewing our earthly world from heaven, witnessing the ushering in of infinite affection and the outpouring of love for him from around the globe, from across generations and from diverse ethnicities. Michael Jackson will be dearly regarded and dearly missed.

I love my work.  I love teaching others, watching as they connect the dots and surmize how smart they already are about the topic.  So it was a revelation for me at a recent seminar when, while teaching how to tell the truth without fear, I learned that for some employees this is simply not possible.

Telling the truth without fear

I am always interested in the attendees response to the question "can you tell the truth without fear at work?"  Sometimes the response is unanimous that 'of course' I can tell the truth.  More often than not, I get no response but instead receive a look of incredulity, and a smirk of "you're kidding, right?"  Some time ago an attendee said that their CIO always wants the truth and so provided the department with a catch phrase that allows them to do just that.  It's "intellectual honesty" as in, "Bob, in all intellectual honesty..."  This phrase, I was informed, prepared the CIO for bad news while providing employees with a means of presenting even the most unpleasant news.

I like it.  Everyone's on the same page.  it even provides employees with a way of disagreeing with each other.  This is a crucial communication that Patrick Lencioni calls "engaging in good conflict" in his book  "The Five Disfunctions of a Team."  It is evident that being in a position where it is difficult to tell the truth without fear creates many problems.  This leads me to the second question in today's blog post.

What are you communicating to your employees?

A second question that I pose to attendees is "you are a project manager and your boss adds a new project to your plate.  You have neither the resources nor the time available to execute it successfully.  Do you discuss the issues with your manager and explain your reasoning?"

Imagine my surprise when I was told: "We can't do that."  We woud have to be quiet and take on the project.  "Even if you knew it would fail?" As I asked, I feared the response.  "Yes, even if we knew it would fail, we would have to take on the project anyway.  In today's market, if we don't do it, it is easy for them to fire us, find someone who needs a job and is willing to take it on, despite the fact that it would fail.  So, we would just do it, let it fail and continue from there."

WOW!  Is it any wonder then, that the economy is in its current state.  What this says is, given the worst circumstances, an employee will take a project they know will fail, their manager knows will fail, and the company knows will fail, because that's the company's culture.  It makes me wonder how many of today's organizations have this culture of lies vs. truth, and communication that encourages failure then rewards it. 

Do you work in a company that allows you to tell the truth without fear or do those who take on failed projects end up being promoted?  Send me your comments via the comment page at http://www.yvonnefbrown.com/contact

Today is a day to celebrate mothers everywhere.   It's one day that is set aside to thank your mother for all the little things she did to help you become who you are today.  Now I know there are some of you who will say "not my mother" and others who will agree wholeheartedly with me.

Regardless of the group you belong to, on this day our thoughts turn to MOM.

Whether you sent a card, took mom to dinner, or like my son, gave her a gift she will love you for it.  So, if you haven't already, do it now!  There's still some day left and you can fix that.  Remember, even if it is just a phone call, the point is you thought of her and are letting her know you're thinking of her.

If she is  no longer with us, visit her resting place and leave some flowers, if you have not money for flowers, just visit and tell her you love her and miss her.  Taking action is all it costs you today.

As for me, I got the surprize of my life when my son Charles presented me with a Amazon Kindle.   As a knowledge junkie whose latte factor is books, I'm practically being pushed out of my office by my books.  Well No More!  The Kindle holds up to 1,500 books and is thinner than a pencil.   It does everything I need and is so intuitive I started using immediately.  With my travel schedule, I no longer have to select which book I want to bring with me.  I can carry as many as I want   - plus it just fits in my purse and is as light as a feather.

THANKS CHARLES!  You made this the best Mother's day ever!

Check out the Kindle by visiting http://www.amazon.com

Scams and swindles are on the uprise due to the economy.  Everyone's seeking ways to generate income.  Some are willing to practice unethical behaviors in order to stay afloat.   How can you tell what's a swindle and what's real?  This is the question posed recently to Marilyn of "Ask Marilyn."  Her response is the most straightforward and clear explaination.  She said:

"People who lose money to scammers aren't always at fault.  Here's a scheme that would be difficult for someone to spot in advance.

Let's say a financial con artist tells 1000 potential clients that a particular stock will go up on a given day.  He tells 1000 others that the same stock will go down.

Say the stock goes up.  The man focuses on the first 1000 people, as they think he got it right.  He then chooses a different stock and tells 500 of them the stock will go up.  He tells the other 500 it will go down.  No matter what the stock does, 500 possible clients think he got it right again.  So after repeating this a few times, the fellow winds up with a list of people convinced he has predictive powers - and ready to give him their life savings.

While this ruse isn't a pyramid scheme, it does illustrate how easy it is to concoct ways to trick people by preying on their wishful thinking."

A recent "ask Yvonne" question for my newsletter http://www.yvonnefbrown.com was from a woman who was duped into investing in a coaching program at a 'millionaire' seminar.  I also learned from an acquaintance that she was also scammed by a coaching program while attending a separate event.  These two stories are a reminder that we should be careful who we trust because like the financial con artist mentioned above, not everything is as it seems on first glance.

Beware while traveling and renting cars.  Be sure to read the full receipt and check in advance to ensure this does not happen to you.  I noticed some of these charges recently and believe me they're buried.

The following article by By Christopher Elliott cites some of these insidious charges.

Look out for cancellation penalties. Beware of energy surcharges. And watch for facilities fees. 

To get an idea of how absurd it’s becoming, meet Jim Swofford. He found a mysterious $5 fee on his Hertz bill recently, which a representative described as a cancellation fee. Car rental companies typically don’t charge their customers for cancellations, so Swofford, who frequently rents from Hertz, said he didn’t want another car he’d reserved for later.

“That’ll be $25,” the agent told him.

“So I jokingly said I would not cancel but just be a no-show,” he remembers. “She said that would result in a $50 fee.”

Or talk to Eric Hegwer, a photographer from Austin, Texas, who spotted a $1 “energy surcharge” on his Hertz car rental bill recently. “My previous rentals didn’t have one,” he says.

I asked Hertz about the two new surcharges. Company spokeswoman Paula Rivera told me the cancellation fee, which was added in December, applied only to prepaid reservations and is meant to “reimburse Hertz for the paperwork and billing involved with a prepaid reservation.” The fee also covers part of the company’s cost of holding vehicles for prepaid reservations. The energy surcharge, which was added in October, bills all rentals in most states an additional $1 a day “to offset the increasing costs of utilities, bus fuel, oil and grease,” she said.

How to stay ahead of these extras? Knowing is half the battle. Here are five of the newer charges that could sideswipe you on your next trip.

A fee for something you’ve already paid for
This is one of the more creative new ways of separating you from your money: charging you twice for the same thing. “Three times now, with three different companies, they have tried to charge me for gas when I’ve returned the car with a full tank and claimed it was an honest mistake,” says Sid Savara, a software engineer in Oahu, Hawaii. “It leads me to suspect they are just tacking the fee on and most people aren’t noticing or complaining about it.”

Boston-based author John DiPietro brought his own E-ZPass toll transponder when he rented a car in Massachusetts recently, but Budget billed him for the toll roads anyway. “We’re still trying to resolve it,” he told me.

Now more than ever, it’s important to be on the lookout for duplicate charges on your rental bill.

A fee for something that should come with the car
Such as tires. Enterprise recently charged one of Edgar Dworsky’s readers a $2 “tire fee.” 

Surcharge on surcharges
Scott Lerman found a “privilege fee” on his last car rental in Florida, which applied to rentals picked up within 48 hours of flight arrival. “Never seen anything like it,” says the Livingston, N.J.-based freelance publicist. (The fee covers the costs of operating an off-airport location.)

Seth Mendelsohn, the president of a food store in Boulder, Colo., found a $4 “downtown arena” fee on his bill when he visited Kansas City recently. “Apparently the city is trying to pay for part of the Sprint Center through car rental fees,” he told me.

Most of these fees can be avoided by pre-paying for your car through one of the “opaque” travel sites such as Hotwire.com or Priceline.com, or by buying through an online travel agency that guarantees its rates

Read the full story here.    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30033404/

The following article was sent to me by a colleague and after reading it I found it so compelling that I decided to share it with you.  It is an article by Andrew M. Manis, associate professor of history at Macon State College in Georgia who wrote this for an editorial in the Macon Telegraph. 

Andrew M. Manis: When Are WE Going to Get Over It?

For much of the last forty years, ever since America "fixed" its race problem in the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Acts, we white people have been impatient with African Americans who continued to blame race for their difficulties. Often we have heard whites ask, "When are African Americans finally going to get over it? Now I want to ask: "When are we White Americans going to get over our ridiculous obsession with skin color?

Recent reports that "Election Spurs Hundreds' of Race Threats, Crimes" should frighten and infuriate every one of us. Having grown up in "Bombingham," Alabama in the 1960s, I remember overhearing an avalanche of comments about what many white classmates and their parents wanted to do to John and Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King. Eventually, as you may recall, in all three cases, someone decided to do more than "talk the talk."

Since our recent presidential election, to our eternal shame we are once again hearing the same reprehensible talk I remember from my boyhood.

We white people have controlled political life in the disunited colonies and United States for some 400 years on this continent. Conservative whites have been in power 28 of the last 40 years. Even during the eight Clinton years, conservatives in Congress blocked most of his agenda and pulled him to the right. Yet never in that period did I read any headlines suggesting that anyone was calling for the assassinations of presidents Nixon, Ford, Reagan, or either of the Bushes. Criticize them, yes. Call for their impeachment, perhaps. But there were no bounties on their heads. And even when someone did try to kill Ronald Reagan, the perpetrator was non-political mental case who wanted merely to impress Jody Foster.

But elect a liberal who happens to be Black and we're back in the sixties again. At this point in our history, we should be proud that we've proven what conservatives are always saying -- that in America anything is possible, EVEN electing a black man as president. But instead we now hear that school children from Maine to California are talking about wanting to "assassinate Obama."

Fighting the urge to throw up, I can only ask, "How long?" How long before we white people realize we can't make our nation, much less the whole world, look like us? How long until we white people can - once and for all - get over this hell-conceived preoccupation with skin color? How long until we white people get over the demonic conviction that white skin makes us superior? How long before we white people get over our bitter resentments about being demoted to the status of equality with non-whites?

How long before we get over our expectations that we should be at the head of the line merely because of our white skin? How long until we white people end our silence and call out our peers when they share the latest racist jokes in the privacy of our white-only conversations?

I believe in free speech, but how long until we white people start making racist loudmouths as socially uncomfortable as we do flag burners? How long until we white people will stop insisting that blacks exercise personal responsibility, build strong families, educate themselves enough to edit the Harvard Law Review, and work hard enough to become President of the United States, only to threaten to assassinate them when they do?

How long before we starting "living out the true meaning" of our creeds, both civil and religious, that all men and women are created equal and that "red and yellow, black and white" all are precious in God's sight?

Until this past November 4, I didn't believe this country would ever elect an African American to the presidency. I still don't believe I'll live long enough to see us white people get over our racism problem. But here's my three-point plan: First, everyday that Barack Obama lives in the White House that Black Slaves Built, I'm going to pray that God (and the Secret Service) will protect him and his family from us white people.

Second, I'm going to report to the FBI any white person I overhear saying, in seriousness or in jest, anything of a threatening nature about President Obama. Third, I'm going to pray to live long enough to see America surprise the world once again, when white people can "in spirit and in truth" sing of our damnable color prejudice, "We HAVE overcome."  

It's gonna take a Village to protect our President!!!

-------------------------------

Andrew M. Manis is associate professor of history at Macon State College in Georgia and wrote this for an editorial in the Macon Telegraph.

So tell me, What do YOU think of the article?

According to InformationWeek, Deloitte Consulting has filed a lawsuit against the United States regarding a contract awarded to IBM. The aim of the suit is to get an injunction regarding a 10-year contract, worth $193 million, that IBM has entered into with Housing and Urban Development. As per the contract, IBM would be modernizing HUD's computerized financial systems.

Deloitte, in the court filing, says the firm wasn't treated fairly in the bidding process for the contract in 2006, according to InformationWeek.

In that filing, Deloitte says that "HUD violated law and regulation by failing to follow the stated evaluation criteria, and also by engaging Deloitte in nonmeaningful and misleading discussions," and the firm is looking for government intervention regarding the contract until the matter can be resolved.

Stay tuned.

Source:  Consulting Magaine

With China using the internet mor I found this article of particular interest.  I hope you will too. 

According to the Associated Press, in Beijing "Vigilant Internet users spotted news photos of a housing official and posted heated online discussions about his $15,000 Swiss watch and $22 a pack cigarettes.  Two weeks later Jhau Juigen in Nanjing was fired.  He is under investigation for an apparent "lavish lifestyle" that exceeds his government salary, according to the state run China Daily.  "

It is interesting how different countries use this wonderful technology.  As the AP writes "While ethics on the internet have yet to be established" at least the Chinese are able to utilize this valuable tool. 

You can read the full article at USA Today under the title "China's Net users take aim online"

What do you think?